The Angel of Dreams- A Poem

Tired and desolate again,
I sink into my bed
and allow sleep to cover me with it's dark blankness of
night.
In my dream
there's an angel.
she
is soft and warm,
comforting me
soothing me
playing with my tangled hair
rubbing away my tears
with soft, fragile fingers and
wiping my nose clean,
whispering sweet
lovely words into my wide open ear
I drink them in
not even noticing
(or just not caring?)
that I am
stark naked.

and for some reason,
this angel,
this guidance,
this loving
tender
beautiful
angel
looks a heck of a lot
like my mom.

Those Eyes in the Darkness- A Poem

Those eyes in the darkness,
Staring down at me,
Ah, the strength and the poise.
And the lean formed figure
Stands,
Ready for attack.

Those eyes,
One a dark shade of olive,
Glistening like an ocean's wave.
And the other,
Lighter in shade.
Like topaz and sapphires
They shiver and stare,
Glaring down at
Me,
The opponent in his twisted lair.

He follows me down,
The king in the darkness.
And I am the queen,
His hand at the bowl.
He jumps along daintily,
Outside he goes.
Out to the cool night air,
Out to the stars and the grass
That waves before him.

The black monster swerves and curves,
The teeth of the beast are there.
And the zooming populous
Cries out in despair.
The cat on the road.
Lying.
Still.
Silent.
The dark wings of the night
Swoop him up.
His soul, it goes.
His heart he leaves.

And that night I dream
Of a place out there,
Where the cool night air
Circles around me,
And the stars blink from overhead.
There he waits for me,
Purring and staring,
Those eyes in the darkness.

Perfection- A Poem

I want to
lose myself to
the moment.
Any moment.
I want to know that feeling
of complete and utter
anadonment of common sense,
just so I can follow my own heart.

Instead,
I have too much sense.
my heart feels encased by
feelings of guilt and terror,
wrapped up in my own selfisness.

I want to love.
I want to know the feeling in
that moment when you know
for sure
that love is true, is powerful.
I'm sure that love
would push out all the guilt I'm holding,
shoved back into the
farthest corners of my mind.
Not wanted, but always present.

I am
fitted,
pushed,
prodded,
into a mold.

I need to express.
I need to express the feelings
that I'm clutching like a life belt.
Afraid of drowning.

But I want to drown.
I want to drown in feelings so
strong they simply sweep you away.
It must be the most beautiful way to die.

Instead, I drown in pain.
Instead, I drown in hate.

The world is drowning in hate.
Again.
Only this time, I truly am afriad
there'll be no life belt
to hang on to.
Nobody to struggle to cling to.

Just that perfect,
inescapable mold,
laughing on the sidelines.
Sneering.
Saying:
"You were stupid enough
to fall for me."

And when nobody can cling on to
that mold any longer,
we'll all be exposed as the
imperfect, monstrous creatures
we are.
You may be afraid.
But I am not.

Because who really wants to be perfect?

My Son

Skin as soft as velvet
Untouched by work
Or force
And pain
Encased in mine
While mine has felt
Work,
Many years of it, oh yes,
Too much force
Plus pain
So much that those scars run
Too deep for medicine to heal at all
But I protect him
And everyday I love him
I want to save him
My little son
From everything I
Have endured
He will not feel
The things I suffered
He will stay
Unaware
Of all the horrible things
Right now
He’s too young
He’s only ready for love
What would happen if
The force of the world
Hit him all at once
Like a brick?

Separation

A one word question
Hangs in the air
Why?
Behind the word
Though it seems so harmless
There lurks a pain
That engulfs and reaches
Towards you
To pull you in to its
Cold embrace

And even though
They cry all night
You leave them behind
Thinking that if you
Ignore the pain
The pain won’t follow

But, oh, yes, it does follow
This time renewed
With fresh feelings and words

But it’s too late
You’ve made your choisce
The separation
Is your choice
You love them,
Yes,
But do you love her?

And you find yourself talking
In hushed tones
To the stars at night
High in the sky
These words hang low
Over your world
Separated
By choice
From the ones you love

Old Woman

Her face
Weathered with lines
Etched deep into
Her soul
The darkness of pain
Clouds her visions

But a passion
Deep and fiery
Shows in her eyes
From her very core
I feel reverberating
Peace
Love
Happiness
That’s what she wants
But who ever gets
What they want?

Safe Embrace

His hands
Strong and thick
Wrapped around mine
Soft touch
Warm embrace
The scent of him
Overwhelms my head
I feel drowsy
Sinking
Slowly
Into his arms
Once more
At peace